Life brings experiences you wish you could forget. You are abandoned, betrayed, humiliated, deceived, or simply not seen. These experiences do not disappear without a trace just because the situation has ended. They remain within you because you lived through them. Your nervous system, your memory, your body, and your emotional world have stored them.
When another loss comes, it is often not a single event that hurts. Every similar experience you have ever lived through responds at once.
That is why it may seem as though you cannot let go of your most recent breakup, while in reality every earlier experience of abandonment, disappointment, and lack of love is rising within you at the same time.
Because you lived through all of it, a part of you remained there.
It is not the event itself that keeps you trapped, but the part of you that never truly left that moment. There is no need to call it your inner child. Simply put, a part of you is still living inside that story.
Perhaps this is why saying "just let it go" is rarely enough. It is not the other person you cannot let go of. You cannot step out of the state the loss locked you into. You long to return to the beautiful feeling you experienced before the pain, when you were happy. You long for the version of yourself that existed before the pain.
Every lived experience leaves an imprint. Until that imprint is processed, it can awaken the same emotions again and again. This is a deeply human experience, whether the wound was created in childhood or adulthood.
Perhaps you are not always searching for the person you lost. Perhaps you are trying to find the person you were when you still felt safe, loved, and whole.
Do you remember the happiest version of yourself?
Have you found your way back to that person?
Are you still connected to them?
Never settle for less than your true self.
May every step you take lead you back there.
~ Dajbukát Ildikó
spiritenergy.hu
